Happy Lunar New Year!

East Asian Lunar New Year always feels extra nostalgic for me. It takes me straight back to my earliest childhood memories in Singapore, getting red envelopes at preschool and commemorative toys from McDonalds. It reminds me yearly how far my family has come and the ties to each other, people who may think we have nothing in common.
Now being in Portland, I feel like I keep looking to those threads that tie me to others and back to home. Whatever home looks like these days. In many ways, the blank page feels the most home I’ll ever be because no matter where I go, it will be constant. Especially with my family all over the place and ever-mobile. I feel unmoored, but in a way that I need to. When you are on a ship at sea, your feet naturally seek for purchase and your knees bend to ground you. You become more aware of what’s rooting you, your center of gravity.
In that way, I feel like coming undone out here in Portland has helped me to really fuse my personality back together. I feel much more myself than I have in years which usually would be the opposite in a new place for me. Instead of putting on airs or trying on identities that never fit right, I am leaning into my strengths. The things I love. I haven’t tried to follow a crowd– just my own inner metronome. And in that way, I feel like I am embracing my inner child and all the people I have been along the way.
The other consideration with Lunar New Year is that it is a zodiac cycle. It takes place every 12 years. 12 years ago, I was midway through my first year at USC and 2010, I was midway through my first year at USC and seeking that same balance. How much of Burlington’s nerd Maithreyi was Los Angeles going to like? It turned out that things balanced out, but it took a lot of trial and error. This time around, I feel less apprehensive and more irreverent. If Portland embraces me or not, I am going to be me. No refunds, no exchanges. 
XOXO,Maithreyi